HOLY SHIT, IT'S DECEMBER?!

I'd meant to write this on Monday evening, but then I forgot. And then on Tuesday night we were putting our Christmas tree up and it hit me: IT IS DECEMBER. I am getting married *THIS MONTH*.

Over the last 6 months, all my planning has been done with a single proviso in mind - so long as it's sorted before December, there's plenty of time to address any issues or come up with backup plans. That included potentially forgetting to organise something; as long as I remembered before December, it'll all be fine!

Well, there is now no more "before" December, because we're IN December. Fortunately, rather than anxiety, the realisation that IT'S DECEMBER is actually creating tons and tons of energy and excitement! HOLY SHIT, I'M GETTING MARRIED THIS MONTH AND THAT'S AWESOME!

We're currently sitting at 2.5 weeks out from the wedding and there isn't much left to do. I went from having some planning or decision-making to do pretty much every other day since getting engaged to, well, not having anything left outstanding to confirm or finalise. And that's   a good thing because hooray I'm organised, but also a bit of a bad thing because now I'm this excited bundle of nerves and energy and I don't have any projects or outstanding tasks through which to shove it all.

Here's a quick recap of the stuff that's been done since my last Report Card post:

• Confirmed all the music for the ceremony and the reception
• Confirmed our ceremony script
• Confirmed our schedule for the day with drivers and photographers
• Had hair/makeup trials done to my utter delight
• Had our pre-wedding photo shoot
• Chose our menu
• Set out floor plan
• Received all outstanding RSVPs
• Received all decorations
• Completed construction of things that needed constructing
• Sorted out the wedding favours (FINALLY)
• Groom's suit ordered and in progress
• Groom's cufflinks purchased
• Bridesmaid jewelry purchased & received
• Bridal accessories purchased & received
• Picked up my wedding dress - IT IS IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOWWWWWWWW

In just over a week, we'll be having the Tea Ceremony in Singapore with our families. I know I talk a lot about the Perth wedding in this blog but that's mainly because the Singapore side of things is being taken care of by my extended family. I actually can't believe that it's coming up so quickly, and that a week from today I'll actually be in Singapore prepping for it!

OH GOSH. SO EXCITED. CAN'T CONTAIN.

One Month Out

We are now one month TODAY out from the wedding day.

HOLY SHIT. The excitement is building and it's palpable! There are still things that need doing but all the bare bones are sorted - we've had 3 meetings with 3 different suppliers in the past week and with each subsequent meeting the picture becomes clearer. SO EXCITING!

There have been a few hiccups over past weeks that I haven't posted about yet, mainly because I have been determined not to dwell on them too much. Hiccups are becoming more stressful the closer we get to the wedding, not because they're BIG IMPORTANT things going wrong, but because there's just less time in which to solve them. What I'm finding totally helps though is knowing that we have backup plans in place and that my A-Team is on-call and excellent.

After tonight's meeting with our celebrant, I fully expect to have things like the schedule and runsheet all finalised, with the few outstanding bits being sourcing music, a couple of outstanding RSVPs, and sorting out the wedding favours. It feels like I've had *something* to do for the wedding pretty much since day 1 and it's feels weird that the list is steadily growing shorter.

Which explains why I'm suddenly exercising more - not to lose weight, as I'm under strict instructions from my dressmakers not to lose anymore weight - but to burn off all the anxiety and excitement and energy. Whew.

GUYS. I'M GOING TO BE *MARRIED*. IN A MONTH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh *THERE* You Are, Breaking Point!

I was wondering what had been keeping you! I'm super glad you've finally found your way into my brain, but only because I'd been wondering when exactly you were going to decide to turn up.

For much of the past few months, things have been relatively calm. All my hiccups thus far, as I've pointed out before, have been minor and easily remedied. That's not to say I've just encountered a big, day-ruining hiccup, though. It's just that the minor hiccups had been slowing rolling into each other, picking up speed as they barreled downhill and I was just sitting there, minding my own business, hanging out on the piedmont, when FOOMF! The avalanche hit.

It all started when we went on vacation to Melbourne to go to a gaming convention. That was fantastic, before you ask - we had a lot of fun checking out the newest AAA titles, indie games, and tabletop games. And while I'd brought my iPad with me, I didn't really get very much wedding planning done as I'd figured I needed a break from that, too.

Then, on the Sunday, I overheard Blake tell a mate of ours that our wedding was "next month".

HOLY SHIT, WHAT?

The gears frantically clicked into place and I realised that, indeed, it was now November. NOVEMBER. THE MONTH BEFORE DECEMBER.

Suddenly, I no longer had "all the time in the world" to solve any issues that popped up. Suddenly, anything I might need ordered in from overseas may not actually get here in time for the wedding! Suddenly, people will start saying "whoa, that's soon!" and "I'm sorry that your other supplier cancelled on you, but we're fully booked for the rest of the year!" Suddenly, time was running out.

It's not even about things actually going wrong - it's suddenly worrying about things that might go wrong because what if I can't solve them?!

There have been a few other stressors rearing their ugly heads - mostly stuff to do with work and my physical health. I'm leaving that deliberately vague because this isn't the place to go into detail on either of these things, but I will say that I'm starting to get overwhelmed by things that don't normally overwhelm (or even whelm) me.

As an example, this evening I was poking around the internet looking for a bridal clutch purse. I then remembered that my grandmother gave me a small clutch years ago that was always a bit too shiny for my tastes so I never used it, but it'd be perfect for the wedding! I poked around in the house for a bit and couldn't find it and immediately became worried that I might have thrown it out or donated it in the last Great Wardrobe Purge. I promptly burst into tears, even as Blake helped me look.

The good news is, I did end up finding the clutch. It was one of those moments where the ever-sentimental past-Vivienne was looking out for future-Vivienne, even though present-Vivienne keeps telling herself she needs to get rid of anything she doesn't use!

The relief I felt when I found the clutch was intense, and it made me realise that the breaking point cometh. It was the smallest damned thing - I won't even have it on me until after the Ceremony! - and I was in tears over it?! I don't think the phrase "bridal clutch" was even in my vernacular when I first started planning the wedding!

Anyway, what prompted me to make this post was an admission that I need to maintain perspective. I've been really good at reminding myself that all I really need is for Blake to say yes and for the celebrant to do her legal bit, and the day will be a success! Everything else is extra. I repeat it like a mantra. But sometimes I think I say it so often that it loses meaning somehow, and these days the reminder only slows me down when I accompany it with a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath.