The 2-Month Report Card

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Technically, last Friday (the 22nd) was the 8-week mark, but I'm going with the last Friday of each month as the "monthly" mark. I don't know why I had to justify that to anyone (possibly because some of you are pedantic nerds as that is why I adore you), but there it is.

Anyway, following on from the 1-Month Report Card from, well, last month, here's the latest in the wedding planning:

  • Ordered Viv's ring - due to be delivered next week!
  • Bought shoes and accessories to go with Viv's Perth wedding dress
  • Booked our DJ's
  • Booked hair and makeup people for Perth
  • Booked flights and accommodation for Singapore
  • Finished designing our invitations
  • Sent out invitations for the Singapore ceremony
  • Finished the Perth Celebration pages on the website
  • Finalised our guest lists
  • Ordered flowers for the bridal party
  • Chose music for the formalities
  • Chose my bridesmaid's dress
  • Confirmed our groomsmen

Coming up in September: transportation, ordering Blake's ring, sending out invitations, dress shopping for the Tea Ceremony, choosing any extra decor, and drafting our runsheet.

Plenty of people have told me that "whoa dude, it's not a race". First, OF COURSE IT IS AND WE ARE WINNING AGAINST NO ONE GO US. Second and more seriously, the point of getting through all of it as quickly as we can is so that at some stage, we can just go "everything from here on out is extra". Happily, we've just about hit that point - the big things are pretty much done, and anything that doesn't get sorted or goes wrong from here is non-crucial or not a high enough priority for us to worry too much about it.

Plus, I'm an anxious, near-neurotic person, and most of you are now nodding to yourselves because yes, Viv, we know. One of the benefits of a short engagement is that instead of sitting around worrying about things, I can at least get them done because, well, I have to! There's actually not that much time left in the grand scheme of things, as some components take time to deliver. Thankfully, Blake's also been on top of the things he's in charge of, which is an awesome feeling and WE ARE TOTALLY WINNING THIS NOT-A-RACE.

A Minor Musical Conundrum

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In the few minutes before I head off to bed on a Monday evening, a problem arises.

Blake and I have vastly different tastes in music. This is an issue almost never - really, it's ONLY an issue when he's trapped in the car while I'm driving and Carly Rae Jepsen comes on the radio. Because I will refuse to let him change it.

To be honest, I have never understood how some people get very annoyed at a song they dislike - it's just a song, it'll be over in less than 5 minutes, calm down.

But now I might get an inkling of what that's like, because our differing tastes are coming face-to-face in the construction of our wedding "must-play" list.

I've agreed to let Blake handle the music, and I'm pretty happy for him to do so given that he seems to have much stronger opinions on what good music is or isn't than I do. I contributed a list of my own must-plays, which I have been slowly paring down (currently at 10 songs).

The thing is, right now, Blake's list has lots of songs that are nice to listen to, but most are really hard to actually dance to. There are also a couple of songs that I don't think actually suit a wedding (i.e., inappropriate messages within the songs) and in my opinion this means they can easily be excluded from a "must-play" list. Which now makes ME the picky one.

I'm sure we'll have this all sorted before the wedding itself, of course, it's just that right now I feel an odd sense of role reversal and I'm having a hard time expressing my concerns about the music without feeling like a huuuuuuge hypocrite. Then again, I'm pretty sleepy right now, so who knows.

That Ring Thing

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This is the ring Blake used to propose:

foilring.jpg

Cute, hey. I loved the idea, as did my family. If he hadn't won them over already, he certainly did with this move.

My grandmother is in her late 80s and, bless her heart, her age has been showing in recent years. For as long as I can remember, our clan's matriarch is infamous for a near-pathological obsession with being "proper" and "polite".  When Blake came to Singapore for Christmas in December 2012, my grandmother, in very her-like way, she apologised repeatedly to him for her "very poor English".

(This was the second time he'd met my grandmother; the first time was in September 2009 in Beijing.)

Let me make this perfectly clear: my grandmother speaks grammatically perfect English. She has pulled each of her grandchildren up on grammar errors at some stage or another, including those of us who speak it with native fluency. Her vocabulary and syntax are better than those of ACTUAL native speakers. And it's not her first language, either.

Anyway, she's basically apologising to be polite. It's a saving face thing that prevails in Chinese culture.

My mother recently showed my grandmother the above photo of the ring. Her response? To remark on how gorgeous the ring was, and how there were so many huge diamonds on the ring, and how extravagant it was!

I'm 99% sure this was a combination of failing eyesight as well as the aforementioned exceeding politeness. Either way, Blake finds this story hilarious.

Red Wedding... Shoes

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Ever since finding the wedding dress, I've been on the lookout for red shoes to wear with it. They have to be red for a number of reasons, not least being that it'd be fun to have a splash of color with my outfit.

One of the advantages of shopping for red shoes is that it's a pretty fast process, both online and off. Color filters speed things up a fair bit, and it's pretty easy to spot red shoes in a store and go straight to them to check them out! Of course, the downside is that the selection was really, really limited. The other problem was that I had a very specific shade of red in mind, and it was proving difficult to find in a style that would suit a wedding.

Time was also a factor. The shoes will also be matching other aspects of the look that we can't start on until after we get them.

In the end, the solution was clear: Shoes of Prey. I'd first heard about the website from a colleague who was also getting married and was having blue shoes made for her wedding. I didn't really want to go this route because it's hard to know what the colors look like in person versus on-screen, but then they send you 5 samples for $15. And once I saw the fabric, I knew we had to go for it.

Given that they are pretty customisable and will be made to suit my feet (from individual sizing for each foot in both length and width), the price is totally reasonable - under A$200! Including shipping! In 4 weeks! Shoot, that's pretty damn competitive if you're talking about shoe-shopping here in Australia.

That's not saying they'll be perfect in every way, but it'll be close. And if it's too far from perfect, they seem to have a well-reviewed returns policy!

Weird Things We've Encountered 3: Gold

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Those of you who know me well know that when I put my mind to doing something important, I go full-on nerd with it. I research, I read, bug people in the know, research some more, compare research, etc. I take notes. And usually the higher the stakes, the more research goes in, the more notes are taken, the more people are bugged. This not all together unusual human behaviour, but it does lead you down the path of some interesting and unexpected revelations.

While searching for the perfect "ring" (I am not wearing an engagement ring and instead am going to get just one to represent both), I read up on gold and gemstones and all that jazz. As it turns out, Australia jewellers only use 9 carat gold or 18 carat gold. It is impossible to walk into a store in Australia and ask for any other carat gold.

I was befuddled by this standard. 9 carat gold, while harder, is far less durable than 18 carat gold. It's got less gold in the mix, meaning it's scratch resistant, but also tends to tarnish more quickly and trigger higher instances of allergic reactions in people with sensitivities to certain alloys. And while that might not bother some folks, getting it made as an everyday-all-day wedding ring is ill-advised.

By comparison, 18 carat gold is purer, softer, and far more durable. And, because of the higher gold content, it's way more expensive. Just about double the price, as the numbers imply. The result is you either have a very affordable material that's pretty crap for wedding ring wear, or you drop many many dollars on extra good gold. The lack of a "middle" ground confuses me greatly.

I still haven't figured out why this is the Australian industry standard; this does not appear to be information willingly shared with the lay person. Overseas, 14 carat gold is far more common, and is probably the most common material used in wedding rings these days. That's probably because it's pretty in-between hardness and durability, and it's more affordable than the 18 carat stuff.

18kgold.jpg

Doesn't that drive away people who are happy with 14 carat gold into buying rings from overseas? I mean, what with the internet these days and all, you're not locked into your local market if you really don't want to be! It's definitely an interesting choice, and I wonder what the rationale is for the 9/18 exclusivity here; I'm absolutely sure there is an explanation that makes sense, I just haven't encountered it yet!

If you've got some pro knowledge about why this is the situation in Australia (or if I'm somehow misinformed), I'd love to hear it!

A Quick One About Music

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I've just started looking into music for the wedding, and while I honestly care more about the music playing during the party, I did have a cursory look at what song could accompany me when I walk down the aisle.

Those who've already been through this process will know this reaction, I think, but: HOLY CRAP THERE IS SO MUCH MUSIC OUT THERE WHERE DO I EVEN START.

I've only been looking at this bit for a couple of days and I found a lot of possibilities. My idea was to come up with a shortlist, re-listen to my shortlist to shorten the shortlist, then run the list past Blake and the A-Team.

Then that moment happens when an idea pops into your head, and all you can think is, "why didn't I think of this before?" And you have your doubts because what if it doesn't sound as good as I remember, or sound as good as it could, or doesn't really match my story, or has some negative connotations, or any other of a laundry list of reasons why a song wouldn't be for me?

Then, thanks to the internet, you find that song and you listen to it. And for lots of reasons impossible to put into words, you burst into tears when you hear it. Because it's perfect, because it's you, because it sounds beautiful.

Needless to say this very sudden and unexpected emotional reaction told me that I had found the perfect song. Knowing me I will keep looking anyway, just to compare, but I'm pretty confident I've found it.