Today is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is actually recognized in both NSW and WA here in Australia, with efforts in progress to have it recognized nationally. There are lots of ways to observe the day, apparently, with the main one being lighting a candle for 1 hour from 7:00 pm local time.

Given its proximity to the day we lost our baby, it felt a little fitting to do a few meaningful things to observe the day.

For example, I repotted every potted plant we own. I’d actually wanted to do this a few months ago but was advised to avoid doing this while pregnant, given some of the nasties that can pop up in good quality potting mix. So it seemed appropriate to do it today as a healing exercise. I’m no gardener but I pruned them to the best of my ability... maybe even a bit over-zealously, but it was just part of my ritual today. Plans are also in motion for me to pick up more indoor plants in coming days, so I’ve got a small, achievable project to focus on for the time being.

My mother-in-law also bought us a rose plant to help commemorate the loss. It’s outside in its tiny plastic pot, ready to grow into the huge one that came with it.

And then, today, with Blake’s help, I bought an orchid.

*Seriously, this phone takes amazing fucking photos.*

I wanted something pretty and purple (somehow, purple ended up being my color of choice to represent our loss) - it’s way purpler in real life than it looks in the photo. I’ve read up on orchid care and I’m determined to look after it properly. It’s definitely pretty and isn’t at a huge intimidating size, so I’m happy with my choice.

Currently it sits on our kitchen countertop, flanked by flowers we’ve received from friends and family. It’s super cheesy but I love it.

Later this evening we will light our candle at 19:00. We will probably cry a bunch but that’s okay. We won’t be alone.