When I say that I wanted our wedding to be "simple", it's really a socially acceptable way to say "affordable". Surprising no one. But we're also not glitzy or glamorous people, preferring understated elegance and comfort over being showy or extravagant. It's fine if you are a bit showy - it's your day, after all, be as showy as you want! But for me, and as I touched on a bit in an earlier post, I'm just not down with spending gobs of money unless it's meaningful and important.
Blake and I reached our first major disagreement on the wedding in the last couple of weeks. I had previously pictured us being transported to and from the wedding in cars driven by friends, not just to save money but to keep things comfortable and intimate. Blake, however, had a preference for hiring chauffeurs and cars. To be clear, I was not opposed to this idea and was happy to pay for this if it was reasonably priced.
Then along comes this gorgeous fucking car. (Note: make and model have been redacted; it's not a secret but why spill before the big day if it can be a surprise?).
Quick tangent. Blake will argue until he's blue that he found it, but the story as I recall it was that I was looking at hire car options shortly after our discussion about transportation for the wedding. In my poking around I found this gorgeous car and showed it to Blake, who agreed that it was so awesome that he looked into it again a few days later to get a quote (which is when he thinks he found it). This conflicting account of events wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that I had felt like a damn good fiancée for spotting it first and knowing he'd like it, so I'm really not going to let this go.
Anyway. I made my own bed, as it were, because the quote that came back was firmly in my definition of "extravagant". But it being a gorgeous car, Blake was not down with dropping the idea.
Ever since the car entered our universe, we've been having sporadic and brief discussions about whether or not we should hire it. I was firmly on the "no" side because I just couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a car. I used reasons like "it's just not us to ride around in something like that", "it's really not in the theme of a simple wedding", etc etc.
In the end, however, Blake did manage to get through to me when he mentioned my wedding ring. We had a budget for how much we were going to get to spend on it, because it was coming out of our joint savings - Blake's not paying for it on his own. Well, after researching and searching high and low for the right ring, I eventually had to ask if we could raise the budget by about a third. Blake's response was simple and consistent: "if it makes you happy, then that's fine."
And honestly, that's been his mantra through ALL of the wedding planning so far. He's not the sort of person to dig his heels in about much unless it's really important to him, and it pays for me to be reminded.
I need to make it clear that Blake didn't "throw it in my face" when he mentioned the ring; he was just letting me know that getting the chance to ride in that car would make him as excited as I was to find the perfect ring. And while I didn't initially see it that way because for me it's "just a car that you'll ride in for one day, STOP BEING SO UNREASONABLE", to Blake it was going to be a lot of fun to ride in and relax with his groomsmen before rocking up on the biggest day of our lives.
Well shit, I think to myself. I've been an ass.
Naturally, I felt completely abashed and retreated into my shame-cave when I came to this realisation. I think I've only just crawled back out, and I've agreed for us to look into hiring that car now. I'll be riding around in far less expensive but completely enclosed air-conditioned comfort myself, but I do admit that Blake's car will look amazing in photos. So that's definitely something to look forward to!